Deviant
by closetbound
Summary: Draco and Pansy discuss the difficulties of dating Gryffindors among other things. complete


**Title:** Deviant

**Author:** closetbound

**Rating: **R

**Summery:** Draco and Pansy have a discussion about the difficulty of dating Gryffindor - among other things.

**Pairings:** Draco/Harry, Pansy/Hermione

**Warning:** It's slash, people.

**Disclaimer:** They all belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm just playing with them.

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"You show concern far too clearly, my dear."

Pansy glanced up from her dedicated study of the common room fire to see Draco emerge from the boy's dormitory looking as if it weren't three hours past midnight on a thoroughly sleepless night. The bastard didn't even have bags.

"Most are aware of the similarities in appearance between concern and insomnia," she answered, turning back to the fire. "I am willing to attribute your wakefulness to the latter if you will grant the same courtesy to me."

"What is true for one is another's smoke screen," Draco commented, lowering himself into the chair beside hers. If she didn't know him, she might have been convinced. "Malfoys consider themselves above such base needs as sleep."

"So says the Malfoy who has never viewed a sunrise," Pansy smirked, grateful for this moment of normalcy.

"I cannot be blamed for the dungeon's lack of windows," Draco answered airily.

Pansy laughed. "Nor the sun's inconsiderate tendency to rise before noon."

"Indeed," Draco answered, removing a role of parchment from the pocket of his robe. He extended it to her without looking away from the fire. "An owl from mother, thankfully less likely to cause uproar among our new friends than the last."

"The majority of our new friends, perhaps," she commented with a wry smile. "Does she still insist on my involvement in the planning?"

"The bonding of a young pure blood witch is planned in her sleeping dreams and waking thoughts from near infancy," Draco said with the air of a man who had been over exposed to this particular line of thought. "A wizard has no place in the construction of his bonding."

Pansy attempted unsuccessfully to hold back a snort. "Even if said young pure blood witch has no dreams or thoughts on the matter and her intended bond mate has been secretly compiling a sampling of fabric swatches since before his seventh birthday?"

"This must be your cross to bear," He answered with an overly emotional tone of despair. "I regret to inform you: that particular collection is no longer in existence. Apparently, such a pursuit is not an appropriate endeavor for a pure blood wizard of my station."

"Do you expect me to believe that you are unaffected," she asked wryly. "Or am I only required to affect a passable representation of belief?"

"Neither will be required of you" he said with a smirk. "I fully intend to exact my revenge in the most fitting manner available to me, and that happens to be your regrettable sense of style."

"Your diabolical plot for revenge is to force me to plan our bonding?" Pansy laughed. "Would it be possible for either of us to conform to the cliché any more closely? You know, I think I am likely to be more adversely effected than your mother, not to mention the fact that you will be required to wear the robes I choose for you. - Actually, this could be amusing."

"Do your worst. I look forward to observing my mother's attempt at polite conversation with her peers while surrounded by your creation," Draco said with a grin. "Oh, you simply must insist on choosing her robes. Pick red. She looks horrid in red."

"Wouldn't you rather plan a ridiculously tacky bonding yourself," Pansy asked pleadingly. "You are obviously more suited to the task of annoying and embarrassing your mother."

"Oh, but there is a certain poetic justice in giving her exactly that which she demanded," Draco insisted. "How could any self respecting poof disregard this opportunity?"

"Well, there is the fact that any self respecting poof would likely refuse to bond with a woman," Pansy said wryly. "But then, a similar comment could be said of any self respecting dyke."

"Perhaps, if the bond were intended only to hide the truth from one's family," Draco admitted. "Or worse, oneself. Speaking of family, have you been in contact with your mother recently?"

"You, as well, then?" Pansy quietly stared into the flames for a moment. "You do realize that it is supremely unlikely that we will be required to uphold the bonding contract once our true alligences are known."

"Yes," Draco admitted. "Granger will be thrilled."

"Of course," Pansy said, rolling her eyes. "Potter, too. The two of them will be so incredibly pleased that their lovers are on the Dark Lord's hit list."

"They will likely be given the opportunity to save our lives as a result," Draco said, smirking. "I can see it now, a Gryffindor fairy tale."

"Aren't all fairy tales a bit Gryffindor in persuasion," Pansy asked with a grin.

"A bit?" Draco returned. "Potter's life is a fairy tale, and no matter his comments on the subject, he would have it no other way."

"Potter?" Pansy asked with a quiet laugh.

"Yes," Draco said, giving her a strange look. "I believe you've met him, shaggy haired bloke with a lickable arse, a cocksucker's mouth, and a tendency to rush unprepared into dangerous situations."

"Thank you for that visual," Pansy said, wrinkling her nose. "I was commenting on your tendency to refer to and address your lover by his surname. I believe once you've actually licked his arse, you are entitled to use his given name."

"You speak as though you're any different," Draco answered, smirking. "I haven't heard Granger's given name slip past your lips."

"Then you haven't been listening," Pansy commented with a wry smile. "In private, I rarely call her anything else."

"I am always listening," Draco said, cocking an eyebrow. "And, in private, I can imagine a number of names I am more likely to use with my lover than his given name."

"Of course. In fact, I rarely use Hermione's name in _that_ sort of private moment. Granger is significantly easier to pronounce when she is eating me out," Pansy said with an unrepentant grin, not to mention unrepentant enjoyment of getting a little of her own back.

"Oh, thank _you_ ever so much for _that_ image," Draco shot back.

"I assumed we were discussing out sex lives," Pansy said with a patently false look of innocence. "Was that not your intention."

"Trust me," Draco said, wryly. "I have no more desire to hear the intimate details of your and Granger's relationship than you have of hearing about Potter's and mine."

"And still, you use his surname," Pansy commented with a sigh. "Have you learned nothing from our most intriguing discussion?"

"I have been quite forcefully reminded of your youth and ignorance," Draco answered with a smile.

"Yes," Pansy said, wryly. "And you are the prime example of age and wisdom."

"I attempt to be an example to lesser mortals," Draco agreed.

"Thank you," Pansy said, rolling her eyes. "I was attempting to make an honest point, however. He is a Gryffindor, you know."

"Your point?" Draco asked, dryly.

"One must make concessions," Pansy answered. "Have you even admitted that you love him?"

"I have never spoken the words," Draco admitted. "What does it matter? I give him an ear when he needs one and fuck him into oblivion when he doesn't want to consider his issue of the moment."

"Gryffindors need evidence of your care," Pansy said, exasperated. "They are notorious romantics. Eventually, he'll tire of always being the one to admit the depth of his feeling."

"As I tire of his inability to keep a secret from the closer of his friends?" Draco asked, peevishly. "As I tire of his ridiculous need to run thoughtlessly into situations that could get him _killed_? He makes no attempt to change his nature, no matter the effect his actions have on me. I see no reason to to treat the situation any differently."

"You knew who he was before you took him to bed," Pansy pointed out quietly. "And you aren't the only one in the room who understands the difficulties of dating a Gryffindor hero."

"No," he said quietly. "I'm not. I am also not the only person who knew with whom he was becoming involved."

"No," she admitted. "We all knew the difficulties from the start." Pansy found herself again staring into the common room fire, her mind too full of worry to pretend otherwise. She was startled when Draco spoke.

"Perhaps a trip to the kitchens is in order."

"I wouldn't object to an interesting tale before bed," Pansy said, standing and pulling her terrycloth robe more tightly around her body.

"Why, I have no idea what you are insinuating," Draco smirked, rising to his feet. "I am only hoping for a mug of warm milk. Insomnia, you know."

"Of course," Pansy said wryly, starting toward the common room entrance. "I am the only one hoping to speak to a certain house elf."

"Revolting creatures," Draco agreed, following. "I have never understood Potter's tendency to befriend the creatures." He stopped short when Pansy turned suddenly to face him.

"_Do_ you love him?" she asked.

"I am soon to witness my first sunrise," Draco answered wryly, walking around her to the doorway. "What do you think?"


End file.
